COMMUNITY MEMBER
How to Help a Family Member or Friend Who is Grieving
Simple ways to show up, support your family member or friend, and avoid causing harm during a difficult time.
You don’t have to be perfect. Just being there matters.
When someone you care about is grieving, it can be hard to know what to do or say. You may worry about saying the wrong thing—or not doing enough.
Key Areas of Support
If your family member or friend is grieving, these small actions can make a big difference:
- Reach out—even a simple message like “I’m here for you” matters
- Sit with them, even if you don’t talk much
- Check in regularly (not just once)
- Include them—don’t assume they want to be alone
- Be patient—grief doesn’t follow a timeline
You don’t need the perfect words. Simple and honest is best. Some safe language:
- “I’m really sorry you’re going through this.”
- “I’m here for you – whatever you need.” (Note: combine it with small ways to help below)
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling.”
Sometimes the best way to help is just to listen.
- Let them talk at their own pace
- Don’t interrupt or rush them
- You don’t need to fix anything
- Simple responses are enough:
- “I hear you”
- “That makes sense”
- “I’m glad you told me”
- Someone to talk to or someone to sit with quietly
- Support with everyday things (rides, food, assignments)
- Space sometimes…and company at other times
- Understanding when they act differently
IMPORTANT: Everyone grieves differently and there is no “right way”.
- Walk with them to class
- Sit with them at lunch
- Send a quick text to check in
- Help them stay connected to others
- Remember important dates and check in again later
Even with good intentions, some things can make it harder.
- Don’t say things like:
- “Everything happens for a reason”
- “They’re in a better place”
- Don’t try to fix their feelings
- Don’t compare their grief to someone else’s
- Don’t disappear after the first few days
- Don’t pressure them to talk if they don’t want to
If You’re Worried About Your Family Member or Friend
If your family member or friend seems overwhelmed, withdrawn, or not like themselves, it’s okay to ask for help.
- Encourage them to talk to:
- a counselor
- a trusted adult
- a coach or faculty member
- If you’re really concerned, talk to a trusted adult yourself
- You are not responsible for handling everything on your own
Understand More
Having a family member or friend show up during a difficult time can make someone feel less alone.
Even small moments of support can have a lasting impact.
People may:
- Cry or show strong emotions
- Act quiet or distant
- Seem “normal” one moment and upset the next
All of these are normal.
You are not expected to fix anything.
Being present, kind, and consistent is what matters most.
Supporting a family member or friend can be emotional.
Make sure you:
- Check in with your own feelings
- Take breaks when needed
- Talk to someone you trust if it feels overwhelming
Prefer a Printable Version?
Keep a physical copy of these resources for quick reference.
Important Support Information
The NATE Foundation provides organizational response guidance and educational resources. We do not provide direct psychological counseling or crisis intervention services. If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please contact your local emergency services.
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